Although seemingly simple, wedding speeches have an entire art behind them. If you want to give a successful father of the bride speech then you should take many aspects into consideration. The art of success with any type of wedding speech is not too complicated as long as you take some time to study each part and make sure that every point of view is covered.

The first and most important part of the wedding speeches, no matter who opens the speech session, is how you open. If the father of the bride speech is the opening speech, then you surely need to have something extra compared to other speeches.

How to make a good opening of the wedding speeches? Why are they so essential?

Openings are like fire starters or disappointers. If you have a great opening at the wedding party, then people will be interested, but if not then people might want to leave and go home sooner than you expected them to. Thus, as you can see, it’s crucial to have a tremendous opening.

wedding speechesWhat are the things that you should say in an opening? Let us list the most important and obvious aspects:

  1. Say a beautiful, highly formal introductory sentence about the event. Don’t make it too long, nor too technical, but make it sound professional.
  2. You can then feel some empathy towards the guests and talk about how great it is that you are all gathered for the newlyweds’ celebration and how you enjoy being there.
  3. You can make use of the weather, saying something like: “As beautifully as the sun shines right now, I declare that you will be entertained by the speeches that are following. I know we’ve all been waiting for it, so let it start with Mike, the bride’s father!”

Obviously, whatever you choose to say in any opening, it must be something that captures guests’ attention instantly. DOWNLOAD 25 Father of the Bride Speech Samples

All about preparing yourself!

There are many things to do when preparing for the upcoming father of the bride wedding speech. At first, you might want to check out as many existing wedding speeches as possible. If you are able to check as many as possible, you will have a lot of new ideas and things you will want to say when you give your own speech at your daughter’s wedding.

Then, once you already have the ideas you have gathered by watching or reading other people’s speeches, I recommend that you write all of those ideas on paper or on the computer or other device to allow such input. Obviously, those ideas should be completed by your own original ideas, which weren’t among the ideas that you already heard. If you think that is not possible, let me clarify: even if most ideas are present in other wedding speech templates, videos and a variety of other materials, you should know that the story of your life and the story of your daughter’s life aren’t really there. They could only be there if you published them which is not really probable!

As a combination of the existing ideas and your own original ideas, you will have a possibly long list of bride’s father speech ideas. Most of the time, you won’t be able to say it all during the speech. There are many people who apparently don’t want to understand that any wedding speech, even if the most important one, will be limited by time. Thus, you won’t truly have the opportunity to speak as long as you wish. If you are stubborn and you think you can do that, you can try it, but I must say in advance: the results won’t really be to your liking. Why can I claim that? Experience and research shows that no matter how amazing a wedding speech was at a certain wedding, people got to disrespect all speeches that exceeded 6 minutes of speaking. Also, the 6 minutes’ range was only measured for speeches that were the coolest, that were the most amazing ever. For the average speeches, the time was either 4 or 5 minutes.

Since you shouldn’t risk things, I recommend staying within the 4-5 minute range. However, if you practiced long enough to make it only 4 minute then it’s the best thing to do with your father of the bride wedding speech.

Of course, just by having a long list or set of ideas you don’t have a finalized speech. This means that some editing work has to be done on the list of ideas. The first thing you should always consider is removing duplicate ideas. Even if they are in other words or apparently other perspectives, many ideas can prove themselves to be duplicates. You know, people don’t really want to hear the same ideas more than 2 times during your speech. Even the 2 times repetition should be considered only in cases when some parts are important to be emphasized.

Then if there are ideas that are discouraging or ideas that reflect on possible negative elements of life or marriage, then I strongly encourage you to remove those sections. Since every marriage is a brand new start, a wonderful beginning of a new stage of a couple’s life, you should only focus on encouraging them and letting them know how wonderful these things are for their lives.

Bride’s Father Wedding Speech Structure

Editing the speech means that you, first of all, respect the father of the bride speech structure. So these are the parts that your speech MUST include:

  1. An amazing welcoming text and introduction.
  2. Showing respect to your daughter by talking about her in a positive way.
  3. Talking about the couple or the groom. You can choose to do any here, but you can’t have a 3rd option. It’s either the groom or the bride and the groom together as a couple!
  4. The 4th part goes for wisdom. This can be told from your experience, from books, from movies or from famous quotes or poems. Regardless of the sources, it is highly recommended to have this part.
  5. Most people prefer to do this part, and I also encourage you do consider it. You need to shortly talk about the people who helped with the wedding. For example, you can say something like this: “I want to let you all know that this wedding wouldn’t have been this amazing, if it weren’t for Brian, Andrea, Josh and John to help us with so many aspects and so many details of the preparations. Thank you guys, you were amazing!”
  6. The closing part is always a toast proposal. The toast is usually proposed to happiness, a stable life or similar things like that, which are in other words good wishes or blessings for the newlyweds.

When you have a draft of your speech to respect these parts, you can get to the next levels of editing. I must let you know that before any speech can be considered a good one, it needs to go through a significant amount of editing. Yes, that is right! You will only reach to that good, professional-looking speech by spending a lot of time on it.

The editing stages of the father of the bride speech should also ask for 2nd and 3rd opinions. Obviously, you can’t ask for anyone’s opinion as you must selectively find the people who are to be trusted and who can be of help and not the opposite. Family members and best friends are recommended.

Then, preparing also means that you recite the speech, just as a poem. It’s okay if you read it from your draft, printed paper or anything, as long as you memorize the contents on the way. During these parts, you should take a stopwatch or some other watch to measure your time. If you exceed five minutes of speaking then you should truly consider removing parts of your speech.

Also, remember that your speech shouldn’t be a story about your daughter! Yes, she is really your precious little daughter, but people aren’t really interested in soap opera scenes where you talk about hundreds of emotions that cross your mind while acknowledging that your daughter is now getting married.

While practicing the way you will say your speech, you need to defeat a lot of things that all fathers struggle with, while having their speeches. By knowing these things and aspects in advance, you will be able to conquer them and thus reach to a level where speaking clearly and without interruptions (while feeling totally relaxed) is not any effort to you!

Emotions will obviously hit you before, during and after the speech. It is all a matter of how important these emotions are for you. Do you focus on them, giving them maximal attention? Or you can simply let them go and focus on what is truly important? Concluding these questions, it’s fairly easy to know that many things and many parts of your wedding speech are based on your personal choices. It’s like when facing problems in life – if you choose to fear them, the problems will definitely defeat you but if you choose to look at them with other eyes, looking for ways to overcome them, then you will conquer all problems and be able to win in all situations.

Then, there comes the stress. People are watching you, they are waiting for you to make at least some mistakes, so that they can proceed to commenting, so that they can proceed to saying bad things about you. This stress must be left behind, since you don’t want to focus on stress, you want to focus on the things you are about to say. As long as you keep that in mind, things get easier in all aspects.

So, what are the key factors to win the battle against stress? Here they are:

  • If you are prepared for the moment and acknowledge that is coming, half-battle is won already.
  • If you have practiced a lot at home, saying the speech loudly, then it’s easier for you to speak in the front of the guests.
  • If you asked your family members to pretend that they are like guests criticizing you while you speak, then you are already used to how it actually is.

But that’s not all for stress. Many people righteously say that they find it hard to have a proper hand position during their wedding speeches. Why is that so? When you are under pressure, when you know that you are in the middle of something that is very important, you tend to be confused. One of the side effects of human confusion is that you find out that your hands are bothering you and you have no idea how to hold them in order to feel safe.

A father of the bride speech must be filled with confidence and feelings that are alike. If you fill the speech with other feelings, then it’s not okay, but as long as you glow from confidence, people will listen to you. How to gain that confidence?

First of all, you can check the body languages of politicians, lecturers and other public speakers who are of a great impact. These people, trust me, aren’t more or better than you are. What they have is something important, but at the same time so simple: attitude.

An essential part of the father of the bride speech preparations is having your own positive attitude, your attitude which proves confidence and safety.

Psychology insight – body position

It has been shown that many body positions transmit various messages. Unfortunately, if you are not aware of the messages you give out, you might end up delivering messages that you didn’t want to deliver. These situations are quite unpleasant and you should know how to avoid such occurrences.

If your body is in a soldier position, it shows that you act like being confident, while being totally confused and having no idea on how you could hide your real feelings and emotions. Thus, I highly recommend that you won’t stand up as a “manly” soldier, ready to give a shivering speech. That’s just not a good attitude for the father of the bride speech.

If you balance your body, supporting your weight with one leg and then another too frequently, it also shows that you are uncomfortable. You must work on these aspects at home, while preparing for the speech. If you master such unwanted messages at home, then you can master them while speaking as well.

When your body position reminds the guests of a sponge, it is a proof that you are really bored or with complete lack of interest on the event. Thus, if you have a sponge position, people will think that you don’t even care and that you are only speaking for the sake of your family, not for the sake of you desiring to say something. These things are really bad, so you shouldn’t end up being “respected” as such a person.

The proper body position I can recommend is a body position which is close to the position of a soldier, but still very relaxed. Telling people that you are relaxed can be accomplished by looking at them with a smile, by behaving like someone who knows what he is doing.

Psychology further on – your hands

Then, other than the body position, the hands play a very important role.

For instance, if you hold your hands together tight, holding them before your stomach, you show people that you are insecure and that you don’t know what you should say. If you study some psychology and human nature, you will find that this behavior is very characteristic to people who lack self-esteem.

Then, if you choose to hold your hands together while the fingers are pointing towards the sky, you will sound like a politician or a businessman. This hand gesture is quite common at seminars or political events, but should not be used during your father of the bride speech. The reason for this is simple: while such gestures do prove a lot of attitude and confidence, they are definitely not meant for weddings.

If you hold your hands (palms) together while your fingers are pointing towards the guests who are present at the event, then they will feel offended. The reason for this is simple: when you point your fingers towards children, you show them that they did something wrong or you talk to them, explaining very important things. Thus, such an attitude is meant to emphasize something and to capture attention, but is also common at seminars or some types of business meetings. However, it is definitely not suitable for wedding speeches.

If your hands are behind your back, then again you show off something that is not really wanted during a father of the bride speech. People who hold their hands behind their backs are generally the people who are to hide things one from another. Thus, these people are proven to be liars or tricky people.

If you play with a pen or change your hands’ position too frequently, then you transmit discomfort, non-focused attitude and lack of confidence. However, from these things, if you only choose to play with a pen, it shows a positive attitude. But do remember that playing with a pen while speaking is most commonly encountered during seminars or lectures of any types, not during weddings.

The most recommended thing to do, in order to have the right position of your hands, is to hold your glass of champagne. After all, the ending of the speech will still go to that glass of champagne, to the toast proposal. So, it gives you confidence, it gives you a great hand position and then you can stay focused on your message.

What quotes to use if you want quotes towards the end of the speech

Be it a father of the bride speech or any other wedding speech, you will probably want to quote poems, books or movies. It is highly debated that some quotes are better than others. It’s all a matter of personalities, tastes and messages. If you had found some quotes that have the following items, then it’s most probably okay:

  • The quote sounds simple, yet makes a clear point
  • The quote talks about positive things, about love, about compromises to achieve common good
  • The quote shows that every new beginning, although coming with challenges, has a lot of advantages
  • The quote is written formally, with words of a higher standard
  • If the quote doesn’t use higher standard words, then it should be of a great impact with its simple words
  • The quote’s message is appropriate for the wedding speech

How to make the best toast proposal

This topic is not the simplest, since it’s also highly debated. There are hundreds and thousands of possible toast proposals, even if we only consider wedding toasts.

Depending on the style of your father of the bride wedding speech, you will be able to choose from various styles of existing proposals. Obviously, you can edit the proposals, adding your own personal touch to them, thus obtaining brand new proposal texts.

The attitude, the look on your face and the way you say the proposal must also be wisely chosen. This means that you should look straight into the eyes of the newlyweds, say the proposal while smiling or having a proud look, letting them know how proud you are of them!

If these tips aren’t enough for your expectations, you can also buy or borrow some books that are written on toast proposals. In these books, you will find valuable proposal tips for professionals. However, I will always encourage you to make use of simplicity since it is many times for the simple messages and the simple proposals to be of the best impact.

Of course, you can also use more sophisticated proposals to be of a professional impact and to let others know that you truly took the time to prepare!

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